Got up at 4:30am. It’s still dark. I shouldn’t be up. My alarm seems to think I should, so I obey. Zombie like I dress, brush teeth, pack leftover scrambled ostrich egg from the night before into a plastic container, put it into my backpack with a banana, oat bar, and a half drank small oj. I’m I awake? Or are these just primal instincts at work and I’m just dreaming, sleepwalking? Feels painful, in my eyes, must be real then. 

I am dropped off a Bikram Joondalup, teach the 5:45am class, then close shop and shower. It’s 8:00am and I think I am awake now.

The movie I plan on seeing doesn’t start until 9:45am, so I eat my ostrich, oat bar, banana, and oj. More time to kill. I have started reading a book a week after being inspired by a blog post on inoveryourhead.net. So I take out my book (History’s Forgotten Milestones by Joseph Cummins) and read the required amount of pages I’m supposed to to fulfill the page quota for today. It’s 9:00am, time to leave.

The mall is a quick walk across the street the the studio I’m at. Entering the mall I pass by half open shops, people I question in my head as to why they are here shopping so early, and store employees with expressions that give away the fact that they are not fully awake yet and are having a rough time coping with the upbeat techno music their shop is blaring, especially because it’s mixing with the neighboring stores upbeat techno morning music.

Exiting the other side of the mall to the movie theater I pass through a group of teenagers throwing candy Runts at each other (Runts consist of miniature hard candies shaped like bananas, apples, pears, etc.). A banana or two come very close to bouncing off me, and my rage machine kicks in, I instantly hate these kids. 

The theater is still closed, so I sit and watch the teens chase each other around in circles, giggling, play fighting, throwing more runts, why can I only think about my strategic ways to hurt them in an all out attack if one confronts me, or a banana hits me. Why do I hate them. Why do I want them to be quiet and calm. That would be boring. I’m I boring? I’m I that cranky old man I use to hate? I use to be just like them.

The theater opens. I enter hoping to not find the teens in the ticket purchase line as they have ran in before me. Good, they are playing shooting video games. “One ticket for 21 Jump Street please… Yes… Just one.”

As I pee in the theater bathroom I notice my pee is pretty dark orange and I don’t pee for long. Good. Means I’m dehydrated and as long as I don’t drink anything more I will not have to pee in the middle of the movie. 

Theater number 4. No people. Small theater. Strange? The movie just came out and is advertised excessively over the top here in Australia, even this theater has two life sized displays plus multiple posters hanging about. Oh well, at least I get the theater to myself, a perk of coming to the early early show. And if the teens were coming, at least one of them would be here by now, the movies about to start, or at least the next twenty minutes or more of trailers are.

Last trailer, movies starting! Oh, I just heard someone enter! Damn, almost made it. Who the hell comes to see a movie at 9:45am in the morning? What is this person doing here? Awesome! They are opening some sort of plastic wrapped thing! Oh, and every time they retrieve a new treat from it the same plastic wrap noise! This person can not go an hour and a half without stuffing LOUD food into their face? Do they have a medical condition that requires this? And why such a loud food? Why pay money for an audio visual experience and ruin half of it? Are they also wearing funny sunglasses to muck up their sight? Or maybe they are such an emotional person that they need something to dim down the emotions the movie will convey to them, so they may feel just like us regular feelers. 

The first half of the movie is so funny I forget about the plastic wrapped person behind me! I’m laughing out loud, I even fall over in my seat holding my stomach at one point! This movie is awesome! Then it slows down for the second half, then it fades off and ends. But boy was that first half funny! Worth it just for that! It sets itself up for a sequel, and I’ve read online a sequel is in production, so I have another half a movie to look forward to!